There's a strong odor of desperation that surrounds Brienne at all times, and for those that don't know, desperation smells similar to a lonely piece of raw salmon left lying on its back in a dark alley behind a random nightclub. Just a tip for the ladies reading this, if you ever find yourself dancing on top of a bar wearing a black see-through curtain and every single guy near you appears to be avoiding direct eye contact with you, it's time to get down and quietly go home. Brienne is professional social climber that has worked in "luxury real estate", software sales, interior decorating, human breast milking, and currently owns a company in New York City that she cleverly named Brienne Fine Jewelry. Surprisingly, most of Brienne's pictures are devoid of any jewelry. My guess is that she doesn't want to take any attention away from what she obviously considers her only positive qualities, her udders. I'll bet Brienne's 13 year old daughter is so proud of her mother every time one of her friends asks, "Did you ever suffocate while breast feeding on those?" Since I'm no fan of Brienne's inverted teeth or the fact that everyone at the boat party in the fourth pic down was too embarrassed to tell her that she was bleeding through her yellow bikini bottoms, I have no other choice than to give the thick-bodied Brienne a 6.0 on the Jail Scale. She'll thank me one day for this.
Your friend,
Trey Starrs
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Race: White
Height: 5 ft 8 in
Weight: 130 lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Arresting Agency:
Arrest Date: Unknown
Booking Date: 1/19/2012 10:41 AM
Current Status: In Custody
Assigned Facility: MTSI
Projected Release Date: Unknown
Court Case No. 111051230 DA Case No. 2226394
Charge:
RECKLESS DRIVING (A Misdemeanor) $0 Conditional Sentence
Thanks Trey, for two valuable life lessons:
ReplyDelete1. Drive carefully
2. Don’t make your photos public
There would be a third lesson if I were menstruating female.
LMFAO..... forget this season's "it" shoe. Having your period on your yellow bikini bottoms is what's all over the runways right now.
ReplyDeleteHaha gross!
DeleteSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nasty
DeleteIs she standing with a dude in the third pic down?? And I hope she doesn't breast feed with those fakies.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is that thing?
DeleteThat skank is hot, I would totally nail & bail on her!! Might even give her fish-eye!
ReplyDeleteThat's Shim Shady.
ReplyDeleteJeweler? What a joke. She attempted to poorly imitate someone else's work. Emphasis on POORLY.
ReplyDeleteNext time she puts a band-aid on her kid's knee, she's gonna claim she's an MD.
People in glass houses should not be throwing stones - and we all live in glass houses. I usually love this site, but Trey is picking on an really nice person. One, that is not blood on her bikini, it's a flower. You guys would know that if you weren't all such nerds, spending your lives in front of computers. Two, her boobs are real. Three, at least she's trying to make a living. I can't say as much for some of those other bitches in the Pearl.
ReplyDelete4. Don’t place a red flower on your crotch unless you want to look like you haven’t noticed your period started.
DeleteReally nice people don't get charged with reckless driving. Just a heads up, reckless driving is what lazy PPB officer's charge instead of DUII. But hey! What would the internet be without enablers?
DeleteBrienne has trouble driving because it's hard for her to reach the steering wheel that's behind her breasts.
DeleteNice "fashion fail" with the flower on her crotch. I'm wondering how this designer's creative process works. "Hmmmmm. I'm going to design a yellow bikini, with a RED flower right on the crotch. Nah, it won't look like blood".
DeleteMy issue is with her "making a living" from stealing someone else's hard work. Believe me, the jewelers in Portland know not to let her into their stores with a camera anymore. One particular design that she is so damned proud of is NOT HERS. I honestly hope the person she stole it from sues the living shit out of her, because she's quite possibly the fakest bitch alive.
DeleteWhat is that fucking thing in the third pic down?
ReplyDeleteOMG she is bleeding!!! That is just wrong to be in public wearing that when that happens. I would have given her a 9.2 on the jail scale til I saw that.... she is an immediate 1.8 on the prostie scale now
ReplyDeleteToo bad you had to see that but really, you need to grow up.
DeleteWhere’s Chicken? She’s usually here to explain female stuff.
She is hot as hell. Does she post on TNA?
ReplyDeleteMy load would look good in her black hair.
Wow she hangs with some high rollers! That is the new character on "Mob Wives" in the second pic down "Big Paul" or something like that.
ReplyDeleteBTW for the record, some of us "nerds" are actually very gainfully employed and looking at this site while we get PAID to do so from work and enjoy looking at the train wrecks some people make of their lives while us "nerds" just go to work, make a living, and go home to our nice, boring, stable, homes. It is simply entertaining to watch the trash around us behave as such.
You may not be “gainfully employed” when your employer discovers how you’re wasting your time.
Deleteclassic
Deletebrienne: if i ask nicely will you slap me across the face with those big ol' titties?
ReplyDeleteHULK LIKE MILK
ReplyDeleteOk you guys are just mean. I have to know Brienna and she is an absolutely wonderful person. People make mistakes, I am sure all of you posting negative shit on here, have never made any mistakes in your life NOT.
ReplyDeleteAll of you haters need to get a freaking life.
MOAR TEARZ
DeleteSorry, your turd of a friend makes bad choices, not "mistakes". Ask her how many times she has been arrested total. I bet Multnomah County isn't the only jail bed she has slept in.
DeleteGood people aren't arrested as much as your friend. Maybe it's time to join the real world like the rest of us and become a hater too. Haters are better for America then enablers.
On a side note. Ever notice how "hater" is used to describe a person who looks down on criminals or morally bankrupt people? The only people you see crying about haters are club sluts, criminals, and useless socialites. Ask yourself that next time you think you are a victim of a hater. Really take a step back and think if you are the real problem with America and not the hater.
A "Realtor"....gross.
ReplyDeleteIn reply to AnonymousJan 25, 2012 12:29 PM
ReplyDeleteMOAR TEARZ
You are just a fucking idiot ENOUGH SAID
not quite enough,you are still talking.Go cry QUIETLY
DeleteShe is up on TheDirty.com
ReplyDeleteI think that she figured that it doesn't matter what she wares for bottoms. people never look any lower than her chest.
ReplyDeleteChicken, where are you???
What would a person use to accessorize an early visit from Aunt Flo??
73
I would hit it
ReplyDeleteI am terribly confused by her outfit in the second pic down...
ReplyDelete@Swifty- my apologies for not commenting sooner-I had to leave the country for a few weeks so I wouldn't snap.
ReplyDelete@Purebleach- your comment was funnier than shit! I agree- there must be a lot of things that she can't do very easily without her huge boobs getting in the way!!!
WHY CAN'T I "REPLY" TO SHIT??!! My apologies if I am not commenting in the appropriate places- & my apologies for the 400 comments- I somehow feel the need to catch up on all of the ones I missed out on while I was on vaca-
ReplyDelete*
Anonymous commenter above- a black sarong would be a good accessory to use as a cover up for these types of things...
Well as all the sheeple on here call you, "Chicken", I get a sense that you are female. If you are in fact male I think that you shouldn't have to read any further because my point is in fact made. If you are a woman what I have to say to you is very simple... You are most likely a larger hairier breed. You probably had big ass braces in highschool and I bet your bottom dollar you were caught with a picture of the Quarter Back in you fishy smelling locker (if you are male this probably happened as well). Well, I guess what I am trying to say is that hiding behind a screen and keyboard bashing people that make you feel insecure wont help you! There are a lot of RX that can help you with your issues these days. And if you ever feel like you just cant handle seeing another girl that made you spill your chocolate milk down your turtle neck without ODing on vitamins for attention, here is the suicide hotline... 1800JUSTDOIT ;)
DeleteI am female you dumbshit- I don't know that I can even continue to respond to your crap if you are seriously that stupid.
Delete& OMG don't get me started w/ that "hiding behind a keyboard" shit... And BTW, exactly how did I bash her?? Cause I was confused about her outfit & recommended a black sarong?? Was that really worth coming up w/ all that braces/ quarterback/ suicide hotline shit??!! Fuck off- now THAT was bashing- dummy. That was just fucking weird.
Delete@Chicken: I've been having problems with the REPLY as well. It totally ruined what I thought was a funny & annoying reply. Good to see you back!
ReplyDeleteFuck the word "haters".... & fuck the word "victim"...
ReplyDeleteCareful.....any of you could be next. Unless of course you are all angels.
ReplyDeleteSorry, not possible. I make good choices. Plus the average American has a clean criminal record. Nice try though...
DeleteI just want to say that publicly attacking someone like this is disgusting! Especially when this person has an almost 13 year old daughter who can very well stumble upon what is being written about her mother. I personally knew her for a while and to be honest she is not the person that this post is painting her to be. I think that how amazingly her daughter has turned out can certainly attest to that, especially because she was a very young mother. She has overcome some tremendously tough stuff and she has managed to make her life better and provide more for her daughter than she ever had. I hope that none of you jerk offs ever make a very human mistake like reckless driving and end up on a site like this. If you do... well you deserve it! Keep your head up Bree!
ReplyDelete-ls
Keep your head up Bree! And keep that mouth open wide *splurk*
DeleteReally? Do you even know her? I bet you 100 bucks you are a 30 something pimpled jackwagon sitting in your upstairs bedroom with your mamas door 10 feet away. Why dont you go *splurk* in her mouth... bet it feels real nice when you remover her teeth. GET A FUCKING LIFE! I can kinda get this Trey Starr's "Tosh.0-esq" sense of humor but all of you losers bashing on a woman you don't even know are a bunch of sheeple... Just because you are socially awkward and she would never give you the time of day doesn't give you the right to publicly bash her and in turn put her beautiful daughter at risk. So what... your are a nerd, socially awkward, and were a second away from choking yourself during masturbation in high school. Look to the successful social misfits before you go invent something or make a ground breaking documentary. Write a fucking book. If you had a life you would not be bashing someone you don't even know but have wet dreams about in your twin sized He Man sheets... Hopefully your mama uses oxy-clean!
DeleteYes, YES, that's it, keep insulting me... it's so hot. Your rage sustains me!
DeleteIt sounds like you need a good solid fucking... Lighten up..
DeleteAnd another thing... Does anyone else but me notice that Trey Starrs doesn't comment on any of his followers thoughts? It takes a person with half a brain to look up who has been arrested then look for their facebook page and google them. Your idea isn't so groundbreaking my friend! I have an idea! Why dont you inform everyone of your real information, drunken moments and criminal history and post it on here?? Wait that's right! You are a pot stirring pussy who likes to get the ball rolling then back the fuck up anonymously. You must be the definition of "Who-ha"
ReplyDeleteLS <3
You seem so fired up! How about you try something new and hold your friend accountable for her actions instead of being an enabler? She accidentally drove recklessly? No friend, she CHOSE to drive recklessly. Did you ask your friend about her other arrests?
DeleteYou cry about this site being childish then you turn around and do the same thing. The hypocrite speaks! Go crawl back in your vacuum you call life where everyone is a good person.
ditto
DeleteLS,
DeleteMan or woman you are clearly in love with Brienne. Let me give you some advice. A woman that wears suits and is trying to be business woman typically wants you to take charge in the bedroom.
So get her drunk and go for it.
Good luck
Ditto'ing Chicken Little's ditto.
DeleteThe best mom always drive drunk.
ReplyDeleteBrienne,
ReplyDeleteI have been practicing my Kinbaku, 'the beauty of tight binding', and would love to get together some time. After seeing your Pointer-Sisters I did go buy a 1000' of para-cord so I think I am ready for our play date.
Surprise, surprise she made the "Trendy Potshot" list.
ReplyDeleteTypical skank who has a kid at 16. Brienne is a pretender at life. She follows others, copies others work and achievements as her own, and pretends to be upper class when she clearly is not.
ReplyDeleteI found her on the dirty not too long ago. She obviously whined and cried to get it taken off, because it's not there any more. WHHHHHAAAAAA Brienne. Close your legs, get a REAL job, and stop being such a dumbass!